PETER MICHELSON
How You Know You're in Calcutta
You dial the same number three times.
First, a man answers and hangs up.
Then a woman answers, says wrong number and hangs up.
The third time a female electroid answers, says this number is "in transit" and hangs up.
You hang up.
It's been like this all morning.
You take a break for lunch.
You order plain nan, one banana, and a soda with lime, neither salt nor sweet.
The waiter brings you plain nan, one banana, and soda w/lime, neither salt nor sweet.
You are flooded with gratitude and love.
After lunch, you dial the same number one more time.
A man answers.
He does not say wrong number.
He does not hang up.
You are flooded with gratitude and love.
You ask for your friend, a man you've never met.
Who? or so you surmise, your friend, the man you've never met.
Another man comes on and says, Who? or so you surmise.
He does not hang up.
You are flooded with gratitude and love.
You carefully for the third time enunciate the name of your friend, the man you've never met.
Your friend, the man you've never met, is summoned to the phone.
You are flooded with gratitude and love.
Your friend, the man you've never met, is pleased to hear from you, but he cannot talk to you at the moment.
His wife has just committed suicide.
Can you please call back?
You hang up the phone.
You know you are in Calcutta.
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